I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
