two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
