you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think I won the penis lottery.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
