So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
