I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
