I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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