wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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