I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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