Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
