FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
