Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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