1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
