its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
