I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
