We're like a lot better than the average bears
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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