so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
