last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
