Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
