Tell her she can't have a vagina
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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