Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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