i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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