You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
