I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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