so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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