I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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