do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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