So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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