New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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