i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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