the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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