Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
wow bdsm is so cute
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
