we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
