but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
