what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
