I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
