I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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