States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
