im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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