i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
