just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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