Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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