ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
