that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
