I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
