I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
