So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
