I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
