Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
