So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
