i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
